Recently I have learning and gaining perspective about perspective. Does that sentence even make sense?
Do you remember when you were younger, and something happened that seemed like the biggest, most devastating event ever! I remember being the girl who didn't get invited to a birthday party when all the other girls got invited to a sleepover. I remember later on in my early teen years, getting ready for school pictures and my hair just not co-operating (though it may of not helped that it was being dyed every week thanks to a trend my best friend and I went through!)... and more serious things like having to put my dog to sleep my senior year, my great-grandparents passing away, and navigating the waters of a long distance relationship and new relationships with family! Recently, the thing that sucked A LOT was having my phone stolen while having dinner at Olive Garden. Brand new phone, gone within minutes and Olive Garden did nothing to compensate. Later that week I found out that a dear family friend had a heart attack, thankfully she was ok but it got me thinking "there are worse things than having your phone stolen".
I asked my husband if he remembered things like this, the way I do and he said: having a toy of his thrown out the window of the car, because it made too much noise; when your favourite cassette came unwound and you had to wind it back up with a pencil (my goodness he is an old man... I kid.., I remember this too!). I'm sure that it was pretty hard when he lost his first game in hockey (or any game, knowing how competitive my husband is!) And I know it's been hard for him when things don't come as easily as he would like in school (but of course, he just get's back on the horse and keeps working harder which makes me SO proud!) Ok... I'm rabbit trailing..
But it's perspective isn't it. To that little girl, it may very well be the end of the world when she doesn't get invited to that party, or she just can't grasp the concepts of how to tie up her shoes as fast as her classmates can. We smile at those "little things", perhaps even laugh and tell the child "Wait until you..." and then proceed to tell them how much harder things are in the real world. I remember being told this constantly in high school, "wait until you are in University, then you will see how hard it really is".
Where am I going with this, if you've kept reading and haven't lost me... kudos. It is a big deal to you in the moment, no matter your age or what anybody else's circumstances, lifestyle, experiences have been. You are allowed to struggle. You are allowed to feel and express yourself. Often times I think we suppress these feelings because we are afraid of being condemned due to someone else going through a more "difficult" experience. But here's the thing, we all go through difficult experiences, we all react differently and we all may have things going on in our lives that someone outside your family, or perhaps even anyone besides your spouse may not know about.
So my conclusion is this. Don't be afraid to own how you feel about a situation. Fyi: This certainly doesn't give your permission to act like a wretch, disregarding others feelings! Be compassionate, despite your own frustrations. Always look for ways to grow in difficult situations. Just because someone "has it worse" does not mean that you are not justified in being upset. Take criticism with grace, and always...always be honest with yourself and loving towards always. (Even when they do not show loving behaviour).
xo Heidi
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