02-19-12

Today I am tired. I am feeling a lack of inspiration for well, anything. Most of the reason is that I am STILL fighting this nasty head cold (which I have a sneaking suspicion has turned into bronchitis); my college also hosted a conference this weekend, which meant we hosted guests in our apartment, had late late late nights (think 2 a.m and later) and overall I am run down.

I got to have tea with a good friend Saturday afternoon and we got to gab about weddings. (Hers is this upcoming June). We talked about fears about marriage, both agreeing that we were not afraid to be married, but more fears of inadequacy. We spoke of feelings of "not good enough", or being afraid of not following the Lord's plan in our lives and ultimately in our marriages. I told my friend the following, which although unsolicited advice, she took graciously.

"Sometimes, you just have to take it day by day. You have to remind yourself that you are exactly where you are meant to be, and you deserve to be loved, encouraged and accepted every single day. You are trying your best, to be the best version of yourself, and on day's when you fall short that's what your husband is going to be there for, to pick you back up and remind you that he loves you. Some day's you will just have to acknowledge how you are feeling and learn to just continue on knowing that you may not be able to force away that feeling."

I know that I will be a good wife, lover, mother one day. I know that I am  a good friend, sister, daughter. I choose today to do my best, at whatever I have to do; as small or great as those tasks may be- I will try my best.

As for right now? I am going to do my best at regaining health, onto bigger and better things. (I.e. NyQuill and sleep).